Some women, especially those in relationships where potency had been a long-standing unresolved problem, felt cheated. Some saw erection as proof that they were truly desire< by their husbands, and to them, the absence of erection meant rejection. As a child, Jenny, now 47, had learned rigid ideas about what constituted “normal” sexual behavior, and had never critically examined them. She never masturbated un she was well into her adult years, and then only allowed herself this pleasure after a doctor assured her it was acceptable Unfortunately, because of her husband’s long-standing erection problem, she was able to have successful intercourse wit him only a few times during their 25-year marriage. “I’ve bee deprived my whole life,” says Jenny. “I haven’t worked with hit as well as I could. I think if I knew we could have intercours then other kinds of sex would be all right-it’s almost a math of principle.” Fortunately, Jenny’s husband was able to benefit from recent research into blood-flow problems, and sine having surgery, he’s been able to get and maintain near normal erections.
A woman who sees an erection as a type of lie detector which reveals the man’s true feelings may be so concerned about her own self-worth that she may ignore her partner’s explanations and his pain. “I tried to explain my situation to one woman I cared for,” recalls Andy, a 34-year-old insurance agent whose potency problem is caused by his diabetes. “But she couldn’t accept what was happening.”
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